eLSINOREtRAILERPARK
Homage to Da Perch
By: The Wonderful and Amazing Rikki
Ah yes, the Perch; one of the only places I can go in Charlotte and not want to blow my brains out. People do wonder why my friends and I love it so much. What do we tell them? It can’t be the food, they don’t sell any. It can’t be the drinks, it’s BYOB, but there is something. Oh yes, there are many somethings. And I, the wonderful and amazing Rikki, am going to share with you a few reasons why the Perch is better than suicide. Hell, it’s better than a lot of things you can do in Charlotte on Saturday night-unless you are including some sort of self-fulfilment.
First off I want to describe this place to you. In latter articles I hope to have pictures so I do not have to try and use my literary skills for this. Till then I must try and explain this hall of wonderment. It could not be located closer to a crappy part of town. About every other night there is a shooting of some poor convenience store worker. But somehow, the block that the Perch is on actually is safe from the plethora of crack deals and porno shoots. Unless you count the action inside -but we will get to that in a little bit.
Now, back to my description. Since I am known for writing way too much, I will make this is short as possible. It’s a brick building --2nd floor (hence the name.) They have decorated their walls with cardboard cut outs ranging from an apathetic model to Austin Powers. The place sits 60 people on couches that look like they were picked off a street corner, but they do provide plenty of pillows to keep us comfortable. It reminds me of a college friends first apartment, so it has that somewhat at home-but there better be something to entertain me feel to it.
And Entertain they do. I am sure I have you on the edge of your seats, dying to know what the Perch is-since I forgot to tell you what it was earlier. Ready? The Perch is live sketch comedy. See I tricked you. You thought it was some sort of strip club for college girls or something, didn’t you? Nope it’s good and holism comedy. There is nothing better than a place that’s introduction always includes the holy and powerful f-word, followed by a 2 minute monologue about cock sucking.
That is only the begining to your hour and a half laugh-o-rama-lazershow. Skits followed by a live funk song followed by a song parody followed by some other feast for the senses. The Perch is all good. By the time it’s over you are ready for something else, but unfortunately you gotta go and come back some other time, but don’t worry there is always something new at the Perch (every other week there is-anyway.)
So there you have it. I introduce this place to you now, because I know that I will be writing more about it. In fact, I have for you now a sample of what this place has to offer if you want to just click here & you can see what I have come to love more than my own death.
*note to those who have finished my article. I do not wish to kill myself, really. I am paying tribute to JTHM and the other works of Johnon V. So please do not send me e mails telling me Jesus loves me. I know he does--and thanks again, to those at the Perch who have been so patient with me as I pestered and bothered and whored this website in your face for a month and a half before it was even up.